Happy Birth Daze

Numloc pops open a can of malt liquor tilts it back and watches the illuminati blink out @11. “Grug.” He sighs.
Meanwhile, a stylish black illuminati appears at the ranch. The smell of chemicals and fresh monkey feces fills the air as Ericka and Treeder exit their newly stolen portal.
“Wow that illuminati really does handle like a dream, Jack. I can barely feel the effects of blasting. Not to mention that heavenly new world odor which by the way I’m really missing right now.”
“So, you pulled the old switch-a-roo with the keys in the L&F box back @11. I must say you really are a crafty one, Ericka. But aren’t you the least bit concerned that the owners may come looking for it?” Jack had that strange tone of excitement in his voice.
“That’s not even the half of it, baby and besides, we’ll have it back in a jiffy. You just keep your mind on the cloning, Treeder. We have work to do.”
She only called him Treeder when she was serious, or seriously upset. Which is exactly what she was about to be.

Translucent pipes crisscrossed the entire central complex and an off putting gurgling sound could be heard everywhere from the transfer of a glowing yellow liquid which circulated throughout the ranch.
“Which way to cloning lab, Jack?” Ericka asks.
“Follow me.” He says, as a large metal garage door slides upward in front of them. Inside the main hall of the central complex, Ericka is startled by a group of twenty or so wild eyed small monkeys charging right for them. The wild eyed pack were all wearing what could best be described as metallic birthday party hats and tiny orange sweatshirts with a bold red five printed on the chest. Not to mention that they were all foaming at the mouth. The lead monkey, more wild eyed then the rest, appeared to be brandishing a very large and shiny knife.
“Don’t act nervous Ericka. They can smell your fear”
“Really, I can’t smell anything over the monkey feces in here.”
“Oh, they’re used to that. They don’t even smell it anymore.”
The monkeys circled around them shrieking their shrill monkey yelps to a frenzied pitch. The birthday hats all started glowing as the knife wielding leader jumps right in front of Treeder which apparently caused Ericka to collapse to the ground in terror. The other monkeys proceed to pounce on her, jumping on and off, again and again, in a horrible monkey fashion.
Jack yells “Give me five, Rebus five!”
All the monkeys immediately cease the random attack of Ms. Marzel and begin giving Treeder a round of high fives. Ericka stands up and dusts herself off
“They can talk!”
“No. No, Ericka monkeys can’t talk; they’re all simply wearing telepathy helmets”
“Telepathy helmets? And which one is Rebus five? ”
“All of them, silly”
Why are they foaming at the mouth, do they have rabies? And what about the one with the knife?”
Oh he’s the cake cutter. And that’s not foam, its vanilla frosting. Rebus fives are in charge of birthday celebrations here at the ranch. Let’s see, it’s Wednesday right, so they would be celebrating Rebus Three birthdays today.”
“OK Jack, let’s go back to the Telepathy helmet business. I never heard of these helmets? Me, the chronicler!”
“I know Ericka; I was going to surprise you.”
“Rebus didn’t have a telepathy helmet on the T.T.E. or any of the other knife fighting monkeys for that matter.”
“Quite right Ericka, we wouldn’t want a bunch of cloned telepathic knife fighting monkey gangs running loose all over the place would we?”
“Right, I see your point.” Ericka says
Unfortunately, that is exactly what happened next…….