CLONED MONKEY KNIFE FIGHT

Traveling through time by rail is highly recommended by the writer. Think how romantic it is to spend cherished vacation time riding with a lover on the Temporal Transcendental Express. “All aboard” is never heard or even necessary since everyone’s always ‘aboard.’ The best part is that you could drink wine all day and night and eat all the cake you want and never gain a pound or have a hangover.

So, sitting in coach on the Temporal Transcendental Express, watching the epochs blur past through the window, dinosaur, dinosaur, dinosaur, man with pointy stick, robot, robot, robot with pointy stick and so on. We hold hands, drink red wine and eat yellow cake right here in the comfort of the luxurious dining car aboard the splendid T.T.E.

As entropy would have it, trains are stranger than friction, and the temporal transcendental express is in fact fueled by yellow cake which usually is purchased from Niger and for some unknown reason Iraq, mistakenly or not, is blamed for its consumption. Well, I guess Saddom did keep his trains running on time.

(see future article “Saddom and Gammera: The Mystery of Bus Stop Island”){yes, there are pillars of salt and giant margarita glasses. It’s an excellent piece of work}

So, the T.T.E. and yellow cake fiasco has literally been going on forever, or never, depending on where you sit in the train. As for me, I always ride in coach so it’s not a major problem.
The oddest part of the TTE is the entertainment. Apparently, there was a casino car but everyone always won, since they knew which numbers would come up next. Roulette, craps and all the other games they tried were just too predicable for the time-traveling-set. It’s a well know fact that time-travelers love to gamble and so the now late, Dana Nelly Anacin, conceived the perfect game of chance for the T.T.E. passengers.

“CLONED MONKEY KNIFE FIGHTS”

Two genetically identical monkeys would go at it with switchblades while the spectators and looky-loos chanted “D.N.A.” “D.N.A.” “D.N.A.” in honor of the sports founder, Dana Nelly Anacin. The event had clear winners and losers. Two monkeys enter and one monkey leaves was the motto. It was always the most remembered part of any trip on the T.T.E., barbaric and highly entertaining, and nearly impossible for either time travelers or psychics to predict.